Yesterday my family and I attended a beautiful iftar party, visiting a family that we don’t see very often. There were a number of guests there, and I didn’t know majority of the people at the event. I went around introducing myself and chatting with some ladies whom I hadn’t met before, all the while noticing that a little kid was sitting quietly in her chair, just watching everyone else, and not really doing anything. I’d met the child’s family a few times before, and always noticed that she and her sister sat with the adults, never really joining the other children. Today her sister was drawing or writing in her book, while this child sat on her own.
My own kids run to play, as soon as they get to anyone’s house, not caring that they might not know anyone, and happy that they have at least each other to play with. I looked over at this girl, excused myself from the person I was speaking with, and went to sit next to her.
I sat on the chair beside hers, asked her what her name was, and slowly but surely got her talking. She told me she loves character books, and elephants. She likes to play pretend, but doesn’t really care for dolls anymore. She has allergies so she can’t get a cat, but she used to have a pet fish that died. I listened to her, as she went on telling me about herself. At one point, I showed her the pictures of elephants on my phone, from when we visited an elephant camp last year, which she found delightful. She told me about the various species of monkeys she’s reading about, and I told her about the monkey exhibit that we’d seen at the zoo.
In all our conversation, the child did not talk about her older sister one bit. I asked her what games she likes to play with her sister, and her answer was, ‘ I don’t like to play with her she’s very mean.’
I know siblings argue and fight all the time, but the way she said it just hurt my heart. I told her I have sisters too, and even though we used to sometimes be mean to each other when we were younger, we’re very good friends now. She nodded, perhaps understanding, but maybe not so convinced, and went on to tell me about her other favorite things to do.
Yesterday afternoon, we were at the masjid for a talk, and the Imam was speaking about the story of Musa(AS) and Khidr(AS), and the little boy who was killed. The Imam said that when we ask of Allah for children, ask that they are the best of children. Don’t just pray that He gives you a baby because you want to have a child, but make duaa for the most righteous child who brings barakah to you, the family and the community.
In that instant, I remembered what my mom used to constantly tell us. She always remarked that the prayer she most often makes is that all seven of her children remain friends, and get along with each other. Years ago, I didn’t see why she kept saying that over and over again. But after having my own kids, and seeing some other families being less than cordial towards each other, I get her point.
A little while later, the child’s mom came to sit with us, to see what her daughter and I were chatting about. I told her I liked to talk with kids, and showed her the pictures on my phone so she could see the elephants too. The mom looked grateful, and joined our conversation. She told me her little girl was hesitant to initiate friendships but blossomed once someone took the time to get to know her. She said her older daughter was going through the tween stage and has been moody with her sister lately. I called my seven year old over then, and introduced her to this little girl, and they both then went off happily to play.
On the ride back home, the kids were chatting away, giggling and joking around like they are prone to do, even though it was close to midnight. High on brownies and the independence day fireworks, they kept cracking jokes and ending each sentence with ‘Potato banana!’ (which is their latest thing, thank you minions). At one point, my husband asked them to calm down, but I asked him to please let them be. They’re sisters, I said, let them enjoy each other. I then went on to tell him the story of the little girl who misses her big sister, and how blessed we are that our kids still like to hang out with each other. He smiled, and nodded. Alhamdlillah for the prayers of mothers, and the blessings of siblings.